Love Blog - express love to your children with simple actions and words » parenting

I hope the child who was returned to Russia find a family who will love him.

Sheila Aron — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 22:10:46 +0000

My first thought upon hearing that an adopted child was returned to Russia was that the adoptive mother must be alone and suffering from a terminal illness. After hearing the report on the news that the child was returned carrying a note in his backpack with an unconfirmed statement about his emotional stability, made me sad and angry all at the same time. I was sad that the child was put through this horrifying experience and angry that someone wasn’t aware of the situation who might have been able to offer a more suitable solution. The damage has been done. It was difficult enough for him to leave his homeland at such a young age and come to a country where he did not speak the language or know anyone but, to be returned and labeled “unfit” will stay with him for the rest of his life. Maybe now he will find a family who will appreciate, respect and love him and in time the pain of rejection will disappear. My hope for his future is one far better than he would have ever had with an adoptive mother who probably would have made other unsatisfactory decisions on his behalf. I think that he is ultimately better off now.

Is your child perfect?

Sheila Aron — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 02:50:54 +0000

The answer to that question is “of course”. But do you ever ask yourself if you are a perfect parent? The answer to that question probably ranges from “could be better” to “not at all” and some may even say ”of course”. Most parents tend to be overly critical of themselves and when it comes to the most difficult job in the world, expectations can sometimes be greater than can be met. A very high bar is set for parenting and rightly so. Sometimes the guilt one puts on himself for not living up to his own parenting expectations distracts him from being the kind of parent his child needs. Kids don’t have expectations – all they want or need are parents who show them love every chance they can. In their eyes you are perfect.

How often do you read to your child?

Sheila Aron — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 02:28:53 +0000

Reading to you child each day doesn’t take long and can make a big impact on him/her. It is a bonding time giving comfort after a long day to both. A short book, a chapter or two, even the daily comics can become a special time for you and your child to look forward. The soothing sound of your voice lulls a child to sleep and relaxes you for a restful night. It is quality time such as this that makes such a big difference in a childs life – enjoy it together.

Even riding a bike was difficult the first time….

Sheila Aron — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:57:41 +0000

Learning to ride a bike involves a great deal of concentration – balancing on two wheels, pressing your feet to the foot pedals, keeping your eye on the road, steering the front wheel to go straight ahead and listening to the cheers of observers. Before you know it you are flying down the street with the breeze in your face without even thinking about all that is involved with manuvering the bike. It is second nature to jump on and ride – that is how saying ‘I love you’ to your children should be – second nature. What if you missed learning to ride a bike as a child – could you just get on and ride one as an adult? Probably not. For those who missed hearing ‘I love you’ as a child, saying those words to their own children is almost impossible. To find out how easy it is to say these three simple, but powerful ,words to yourself first. Then say them without any sound – just move your lips. Then say them softly so that only you can hear them. Then as you get more comfortable, say them a little louder - get used to how they sound to your ear. Finally say them to your child and watch the reaction. Make this a new beginning and keep saying ’I love you’ to your children each day – start weaving the thread of love today. It’s as easy as riding a bike.

Labels are for products that you buy in a store not for a child.

Sheila Aron — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:29:20 +0000

How do you think your child feels when you have called him/her a hurtful name? Hearing labels hurled at him, a child starts to believe them. Abusive insults chips away at a childs self esteem and makes them think and feel that they are unloved and unwanted. Make it a point to tell your child daily how very special he/she is. Let him know that having him in your life makes you glad you are you.

Does your child know that you love him/her?

Sheila Aron — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:54:42 +0000

Children are smart and wise beyond their years but, they are not mind readers. A child is able to feel your love when you hug them and kiss their sweet faces. In spite of these acts of love they still need to hear the words ‘I love you’. These three words, that are so simple to say and mean everything to a child, are so difficult for some. When a child misses hearing those words at an early age an emptiness lingers even as adults. Because knowing that you are loved carries so much importance in ones life, those who rarely heard ’I love you’ can remember the day, the circumstances, even the date, that they heard it from a parent. Let your child know that you love him/her – start weaving the thread of love. Say ‘I love you’ today and everyday so that your child will know without a shadow of a doubt how much he/she is loved.

How do you build confidence in your child?

Sheila Aron — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:16:02 +0000

As children learn to manuver their way around beginning with crawling and then taking their first steps parents praise them with wild applause and proud words of encouragement. But each new accomplishment in a childs life is worthy of the same praise as their first steps which will help build their confidence and self esteem. Small successes lead to big ones and as a childs pride grows, your expressions of love and support lets him know that you are right there with him. This connection lasts a lifetime and, like a priceless heirloom, will be passed to future generations.

Are you a good listener?

Sheila Aron — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 00:46:57 +0000

Children will ask the same questions repeatedly and because parents have already answered the question once they tend to ignore their child the second and third time around. The child is not always asking the question becaue she is curious about the answer, but rather looking for attention. Showing your child that you are interested in what he/she has to say and giving your undivided attention lets your child know that you love and consider him/her the most important person in the world by looking them in the eye and taking a moment to listen to what they have to say. This small gesture of respect goes a long way in building self esteem and confidence in your child. Start listening to your child – you will be amazed at how much you can learn.

When was the last time you had a conversation with you child?

Sheila Aron — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:57:31 +0000

The act of talking can mean telling someone your thoughts and opinions, listening to their comments, responding with a question, listening, commenting and asking more questions. The result of conversing is a better understanding of how that person looks at life and interprets it. Hearing someone else’s way of looking at a situation from a completely different perspective can open your mind to others opinions. Begin exploring avenues of conversation with your child that will open your mind to how he thinks and feels. As you begin to talk and learn more about each other the conversations will become an important part of each day – a good time to let your child know how much he is loved.

Are you spending your time wisely?

Sheila Aron — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:49:29 +0000

As each day passes ask yourself if you have spent your time wisely. There are so many demands on each of us that it is easy to let time get away from us and before you know it you feel frustrated at having lost or wasted precious opportunities. Make time for your children becuase time spent with them is always time spent wisely. Give them your undivided attention away from phones, TV, computers and other distractions. Make them know how important they are to you and because you love and care about them all the others can wait. They will remember these moments and you will too.