Lately, there has been so much attention to bullying in schools but,  it has been around for a very long time.  The reason it is getting so much attention is becaue of the fact that now it is being done on the internet.  Facebook and Twitter have opened up a whole new avenue for kids to attack someone for the sheer thrill of distoying another students self esteem.  Self esteem is recognized as the single most important protection that a person has against bullies intimidating and beating a child into depression or worse, suicide.   Schools should  teach children daily how to build their self esteem.   The bullies are as needy of self esteem building as those they are bullying.  Their actions may be how they are asking for help with being bullied themselves at home.  Self esteem building is finally being put on the front burner where it should have always been.   Bullying is a form of abuse.  It is as hurtful as the hardest blow and can cause just as much pain.   Let’s hope that children who are bullying others realize that they are hurting themselves too.   Bullying will stop when bullys start having more respect for themselves and stop needing to take their frustrations out on someone else.

My first thought upon hearing that an adopted child was returned to Russia was that the adoptive mother must be alone and suffering from a terminal illness. After hearing the report on the news that the child was returned carrying a note in his backpack with an unconfirmed statement about his emotional stability, made me sad and angry all at the same time. I was sad that the child was put through this horrifying experience and angry that someone wasn’t aware of the situation who might have been able to offer a more suitable solution. The damage has been done. It was difficult enough for him to leave his homeland at such a young age and come to a country where he did not speak the language or know anyone but, to be returned and labeled “unfit” will stay with him for the rest of his life. Maybe now he will find a family who will appreciate, respect and love him and in time the pain of rejection will disappear. My hope for his future is one far better than he would have ever had with an adoptive mother who probably would have made other unsatisfactory decisions on his behalf. I think that he is ultimately better off now.

There is a wealth of knowledge that grandparents and great grandparents bring to their grandchildren and great grandchildren.  The vast number of years between their generations disappear as experiences are shared and a bond forms that draws them close together.  These moments are ones to be cherished, remembered  and passed to the next generation.  We don’t realize how much of ourself comes from those who came before us.  We know where the color of our eyes come from, who we inherited our height from or who had the musical ability that we also enjoy.  So much of who we are comes from those who came before us.  Their stories, histories, successes and failures all make us who we are.  It is up to us to carry the torch and pass their teachings on to the generations that follow.  It is up to us to teach the next generation how much it means to perform acts of kindness without expecting anything in return or give charity to someone less fortunate.  It is up to us to let our children know how much they are loved and that because of them our lives are enriched.  Teaching the next generation is about weaving the ‘thread of love’ – a thread that should be strong, never ending and  unbreakable.  

As I sat in a very busy lunch spot today something caught my eye.  Among all the people who were there I noticed a man and his two young boys having lunch.  They were laughing and enjoying themselves – just the three of them.  As they were leaving one of the boys put his hand on his fathers’ back and they walked out together.  This simple gesture said it all.   The ‘thread of love’ that connects them is strong and real.  It shows that any time is the right time to let someone how much you care.  Start weaving the ‘thread of love’ today.

Family issues come up all the time that require a solution.  Sometimes  the problems are simple and can be solved with very little fuss.  Then there are the complicated issues, that if not delt with fairly, can create an even bigger problem within the family.  How do you handle situations  such  as these?  Do you make the decision and consider the matter closed or do you ask the other family members for their opinions too?  Parents generally make decisions that affect them and their children lives.  Asking children their thoughts on a problem that needs a solution shows them they are loved and respected and, as a member of this family, their thoughts and feelings matter.  A child will offer a  different point of view that parents might not have considered.  Maybe the problem will be worked out just by having the family discussion.  By including them in the discussion shows children that their opinions are valued.   Feeling part of a family unit is a very powerful feeling for a child.  Letting children share in family decisions is a way to make a loving  connection with your child.  This is one decision you’ll be glad you made.   

The answer to that question is “of course”.  But do you ever ask yourself if you are a perfect parent?  The answer to that question probably ranges from “could be better” to “not at all” and some may even say “of course”.  Most parents tend to be overly critical of themselves and when it comes to the most difficult job in the world, expectations can sometimes be greater than can be met.   A very high bar is set for parenting and rightly so.  Sometimes the guilt one puts on himself for not living up to his own parenting expectations distracts him from being the kind of parent his child needs.  Kids don’t have expectations – all they want or need are parents who show them love every chance they can.  In their eyes you are perfect. 

Reading to you child each day doesn’t take long and can make a big impact on him/her.  It is a bonding time giving comfort after a long day to both.  A short book, a chapter or two, even the daily comics can become a special time for you and your child to look forward.  The soothing sound of your voice lulls a child to sleep and relaxes you for a restful night.  It is quality time such as this that makes such a big difference in a childs life – enjoy it together. 

Learning to ride a bike involves a great deal of concentration –  balancing on two wheels,  pressing  your feet to the foot pedals,  keeping your eye on the road, steering the front wheel to go straight ahead and listening to the cheers of observers.  Before you know it you are flying down the street with the breeze in your face without even thinking about all that is involved with manuvering the bike.  It is second nature to jump on and ride  – that is how saying ‘I love you’ to your children should be – second nature.  What if you missed learning to ride a bike as a child  – could you just get on and ride one as an adult?  Probably not.   For those who missed hearing ‘I love you’ as a child, saying those words to their own children  is almost impossible.   To find out how easy it is to say these three simple, but powerful ,words to yourself first.  Then say them without any sound –  just move your lips.  Then say them softly so that only you can hear them.  Then as you get more comfortable, say them a little louder –  get used to how they sound to your ear.  Finally say them to your child and watch the reaction. Make this a new beginning and keep  saying ‘I love you’ to your children each day – start weaving the thread of love today.  It’s as easy as riding a bike.

All children at one time or another need to be disciplined.  Even if the child was just praised minutes before he/she may need to be disciplined for misbehaving.  Parents who were harshly disciplined as children, may face the task of diciplining his own child with difficulty.  The painful memories that come to mind cause the parent to either repeat the same treatment with their own children or make a decision to discipline with  kindness and  respect.   By stopping the cycle of abuse and approaching the situation with calmness, allows each one to maintain their sense of dignity and self respect.  Disciplining a child  is an opportunity for a parent to teach a child a life time lesson.  When it is done harshly, the lasting effect is a negative association of the lesson.  But, when it is done with respect, the lasting effect is remembered as a positive experience and repeated years later with his child  in the same positive way.  Make opportunities such as disciplining your child a chance to let your child know how much you love him/her.  It is moments like this that make the bond between a parent and child that much stronger. 

Every child is different and unique in their own way.   Their uniqueness makes each one special.  Parents know their children better than anyone and what each one’s very special qualities are.  Give small jobs to them that they can do in a short time.  Make a point to compliment and praise for a job well done.  Hearing praise from you gives children great satisfaction in oneself which builds self respect and self esteem.  But most importantly your child will revel in the praise that comes from you.  Find a reason to praise your child each day  – even that smallest compliment makes a huge impact on a childs pride in himself.