Every child needs the love and approval of their parents whatever their age is.   When a parent withholds showing approval or affection a child learns to live without that very important aspect of their lives, but they never stop needing it.  Those who are denied approval, love and affection as a child, don’t know how to show it to their children and instead imitate their parents behavior of withholding  their pride.  This continuous cycle of denial of love, praise and approval makes  wounded adults who learn to live their lives without ever having that need met.  Let your child know how much you love him/her by showing your pride  of the simplest act – it may seem uneventful to you but to a child it is all that matters.  For more info www.sheilaaronbooks.com.

A disagreement can be described as a simple difference of opinion or  major  all out arguement.  Whether voices are raised to make a point or quietly talked about over a cup of coffee, the end result is what really matters.  A good disagreement is one that  ends with no hard feelings toward the other with integrities intact.  A successful disagreement is when you can listen to another persons opinion,  remain focused on the topic at hand without veering off in another direction and arrive at a resolution that both can live with .   Keeping the discussion short lets both make their point and a resolution  agreed upon.  An open and honest discussion helps each vent frustrations before the situation becomes irreversible.  Good disagreements are a healthy way to clear the air with good feelings for everyone involved.  For more info www.sheilaaronbooks.com.

Teaching your children right from wrong is an on-going part of parenting.    Teaching them to take responsibility for their actions is  a challenge and trying to do both at the same time can sometimes lead to playing the blame game.  Getting a child to admit that he/she is  responsible for a problem is a difficult job to tackle and should be dealt with in a low key and calm way.  Laying blame leads to angry denials, resentment and even lying.  To avoid falling into this trap provide your child with the lesson of taking responsibility for his/her own actions, facing the embarressment and moving on.  Taking responsibility  might be humiliating for the moment but, earns the child your  trust and respect.  The only “game” you and your child should play is something fun and enjoyable for both.   For more info www.sheilaaronbooks.com.

For many, winning is everything.  Children today are learning that philosophy at a very young age.   Competition does keep you on your toes and winning is a great feeling but, how do you teach your child to handle losing?   There is a lot of excitment at the thought of winning, you might get so close to winning but someone on the team makes a mistake that cost the team the winning point  or the other team is simply better and they win the game – how do you prepare your child for situations like this?   Being a good sport   – whether you win or lose – shows maturity.  Recognizing that sports, just as life, has highs and lows and that disappointments can happen, even under the best conditions.  Teaching your child this lesson perpares him/her how to stand tall and do the right thing – be proud if you win and congratulate the winner if you lose – that makes everyone a winner.   For more info www.sheilaaronbooks.com

Children let us know what they are feeling just by acting out their emotions – happy, sad, angry, excited, confused, frightened -  the same emotions adults have.    As adults, we cover up our emotions so that no one will know how we are feeling.  For many, sharing their feelings is very hard to do.  It means opening up and showing that you are vulnerable.   We all have feelings  – whatever our age is - and letting others know how you feel is ok to do.  It shows that you are human and need the support of those closest to you to help you through the difficult times and celebrate with you through the good times.  Share your feelings with your children.  You are there for them – let them be there for you.  For more info www.sheilaaronbooks.com.

Promise?  That simple word means a lot to a child if you say “yes”.   Unless you intend to keep that promise try another approach – one that let’s your child know that there is a possibility that what he/she hopes for might have to wait.  To give false hopes to a child tells him that you cannot be trusted but, if you are honest, the child will understand that you will try to do your best.  It is better to be up front with a child, than to disaapoint him at the last minute.  If you are able to fulfill the request, you will show your child that you gave it your all, and the excitement and surprise will be even more satisfying for both for you.  Broken promises leave resentful feelings and sad memories.  Make a childs memories be of honesty, trust and love.

We, as adults, consider ourselves smarter and more observant than children just because we are the adults.   However, children have a way of observing an object, or a situation from a completely different perspective that often is more objective and totally non judgemental leaving their mind open for new experiences with an insatiable curiosity.     In their innocence, they look at the world and marvel at all the sights and sounds that surround them with question after question that leaves one wondering how they could imagine all that they do – but they do.   We, as adults, seem  to take for granted the world around us.  Try looking at your surroundings from a childs point of view and open up a whole new world for yourself.  Be  patient and tolerant of all of their questions.  If you don’t know the answer, say “I don’t know, but I will find out” and really do it.  Open up the world to your child by looking at it  together.  What a great way to explore and discover ,learn something new and communitcate with your child-  curiosity is a good thing.

Being a parent is a very big job  -  it differs greatly from the job that you do for an occupation but both are demanding and require you to give your all.    Much like the job you do for a profession that you must earn your salary,  as a parent you must work for and have to earn the love and trust of your child.  A day job should be something you enjoy doing, that challenges, stimulates and satisfies you.  As a parent the job requirements are endless, certainly challenging and the satisfaction comes with the love you get in return.  The rewards of parenting come with the joy in a child’s face when you come home  after a long day or the hug they give you for no reason at all, or the sound of their laughter when you play with them.  These precious moments are a child’s way of saying “thanks for a job well done. I love you”.

It is rare these days to find someone who doesn’t have a cell phone, ipod or some other high tech piece of equipment plugged into their ear.   They want to know the news as it is happening, or answer an email, twitter or facebook immediately.  There is no question that the equipment is fascinating and they allow us to be connected to people all over the world.  But this desire to be connected to people and places all over the world is also causing us to loose the connections that matter the most - our children.  Childhood is fleeting - don’t let yourself miss this time in your childs life  for something that can wait or is not important to begin with.   Knowing where your priorities are keeps you grounded.  When you find yourself reacting to one of your urgent desires to check your email or text a friend  remember there is someone closer who needs you to give them some of your valuable time – get plugged into your kids.  Why go to the other side of the world when you can get connected right at home.

There is so much in the news everyday about  the direction the stock market is taking and how important it is that we invest wisely.   But there is another type of investment that is just as important to you and your children’s future that  doesn’t involve money at all.  This investment only requires time, dedication and commitment.  When you take the time out of your busy day to devote soley to your child, uninterupted by cell phones, texting or other distractions, you are showing him/her your dedication and commitment.   Invest wisely in your children and you will have returns that will last a lifetime.